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“There was this one time in college where we got an inflatable sheep for our professor. We called him Dr. Love Ewe after that... What? No, I don’t remember his real name.”

Big Sheep on Campus

From: “Liz XXXXXXX” <>
Date: March 11, 2015 at 10:56:00 AM
Subject: Anon order possible?

I’d very much like to order one of these for my disturbed professor, but don’t want to get kicked out of school.

Is it possible to order anonymously, or in a way that he can’t track the order?


From: Al Ranchhand <>
Date: March 12, 2015 at 9:43:00 AM
To: “Liz XXXXXXX” <>
Re: Anon order possible?

Hi Liz,

As much as we’d enjoy sending your professor a sexually inappropriate sheep, we can’t offer the service. Our shipping method won’t let us. That’s not to say you shouldn’t do this another way or that it’s not an excellent idea or that it’s really the main reason we sell these. On the other hand, something about it reeks of you getting kicked out of school and the professor getting odd looks in the university commissary for the remainder of his tenure. So now we’re just saying that it’s a terrible idea and you shouldn’t do this…. our sheep is really just for old lady tea parties.


Funny enough, Liz (Your new nickname: Funny Enough Liz), The Love Ewe does have a proud history on college campuses throughout history. I’ve gone into our archives and attached a couple of photos of our girls on campus from the 60s. Perhaps you could write your next thesis about it.


Good luck!
Al Ranchhand

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