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The rigorous training our sheep must endure to pass inspection here on the farm is brought to light.

Do your sheep defy the laws of physics?

Date: February 12, 2015 6:31:25 PM CST
Subject: Re: I needed this

Originally, I was checking out your contact info page because my sheep is currently travelling through Puerto Rico instead of arriving safely here in NC by Valentine’s Day to be the perfect gag gift. I sell online, so I am familiar with how often the post office screws up and I was just making sure that I could get in touch with someone if it were delivered somewhere else by mistake (can you say awkward?).

As hilarious as it is simply to find a sheep in fishnet stockings, I have to say your contact info page is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in 10 years. I appreciate the laugh!


From: Al Ranchhand <>
Date: February 13, 2015 9:31:25 AM CST
Subject: Re: I needed this

Hi Debra and Meagan,

Thanks for checking in. Yes, the USPS is my absolute nemesis in terms of logic. Why the package travelled through Puerto Rico is beyond me. Unless there’s a time portal there that I am unaware of, which seems possible, because according to the US Postal Service your sheep is in NC today.

Time machine sheep

As I’m sure you are aware, inflatable sheep use point to point instant travel (PTPIT) quite often. Inflatable wool builds up an amazing amount a static charge, the base catalyst of time travel. Don’t let the scantily clad visage fool you. These are actually Neil Degrasse Tyson trained sheep. All of our sheep go through rigorous mental and physical challenges before being released to the public. Instant time and space travel barely scratches the surface.

Time Travel Sheep

All looks good for your delivery at this point. If there is any problem, please email and I will do my best to make sure you are happy.

Al Ranchhand

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