The key to loving your new special sheep friend.

This is the Love Ewe, not just some piece of meat that you quietly slather yourself with behind closed doors. Love is about communication and understanding. It’s important that you delve into every delicious nuance that is your new and possibly lifelong companion. Our shepherds and scientists have developed this field guide to help bring you and your new inflatable friend closer… closer… closer… oh my goodness!

diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the side

A: Vanity Flap

…or “tail”. The vanity flap is there to keep the sexual tension and mystery alive between you and your sheep.

B: Garter Belt

Provides the best approximation of where a sheep’s waist is. Arousal is critical in consummating an act with a Love Ewe ‐ an errant glimpse of oneself “inflagrante delicto” with the sheep in a mirror can quickly dampen the fires of passion. That’s why we’ve selected a bright shade of Amsterdam Red lipstick that complements our patented painted on fishnet stockings to keep the Love Ewe looking alluring from both ends at all times.

C: As biologically accurate as you think it is.

Building confidence: Chances are the reason you are buck naked with an inflatable sheep is that you can’t handle sex with other humans or real sheep for that matter. The last thing you need at this point is a cavernous ovine vulva silently belittling your manhood. That’s the reason we’ve integrated a confidence building six inch sleeve, hidden by the Vanity Flap™ tail. Inverted seams prevent unsightly and inexplicable vinyl burns on your nether regions.

diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the front and back

D: The Look of Love

Misty, innocent eyes for you to gaze into. Naughty, unforgiving eyes to ignite your passion. The Love Ewe won’t ever judge you with her come-hither glances.

E: Hear no Evil

Added verisimilitude of the ears to complete the experience. Be careful of the sweet nothings you whisper ever so gently. You just might get what you ask for. If you ask for inanimate sex with an inflatable sheep, don’t be surprised if this randy minx doesn’t fail to make all your crazy-ass fantasies come true.

F: Venus Vinyl

Space age, high durability vinyl – tested by lonely astronauts. This isn’t your mothers vinyl. It’s a fairly thick grade that can handle the rigors of having all kinds of syrups or jellies applied at anytime.

diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the other side

G: Double Bonded Seams

The Love Ewe is designed to withstand the rigors of a shepherd’s passions, with double welded seams to allow for the exhausted collapse of a post-coital 200 pound man. Many of our customers also have experienced continued inflation when taking the Love Ewe on extreme “dates” such as white water rafting and skydiving.

H: Pressure Valve

Industrial grade inflation port makes the Love Ewe last longer. The Love Ewe’s nozzle is conveniently located on her voluptuous bottom.

I: Smooth

Cleanly shaven, the way you like it. You can’t imagine the nasty things that hang off the butts of most sheep. Our sheep is right here with us in the 21st century. All you hippies can go get your freak on with a yak if that’s what you are into.

J: Superior Design

“I’ll have a thigh please”... One look at the Love Ewe, and you know that someone put a lot of thought into its construction, but you can’t figure out why and what is so realistic about the hindquarters of this beast. That’s because instead of taking the easy way out and adopting a traditional approach to vinyl animal assembly in which undefined sausage-like appendages are tacked onto the side of a cylindrical torso, we’ve gone the extra mile and integrated the thigh into the whole body construction. Close your eyes and trace the gentle slope from the small of her back to the flare of her pelvic girdle with the appendage of your choice.

diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the side diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the front and back diagram of a Love Ewe blow up sheep from the other side a person giving flowers to  a Love Ewe blow up sheep